A Westminster trading-card division

POLITICLASH

64 Members of Parliament, six attributes, one bad-tempered pile of cards. You take the Commons; Their Lordships take the revising chamber. Winner takes the seat, the swing and the lobby fodder.

Choose your division

Standing orders

  1. The deck is shuffled and split evenly — 32 apiece, or 8 apiece in Quick Division.
  2. The caster names an attribute; the top cards are revealed and higher wins — except Voter Toxicity, where the lowest number wins.
  3. The winner takes both cards to the back of their pile and casts the next round.
  4. A tie sends both cards to The Lobby; the next division winner sweeps the whole pile.
  5. The match ends when one side holds everything, or on card count once the round cap expires. Level counts mean a hung parliament.
  6. Keyboard: 1–6 call an attribute, ⏎ continues, M mutes, Esc resigns the whip.

What the numbers mean

Political Capital
Authority inside your own party. High means unassailable.
Scandal Resilience
How Teflon the MP is. Low means one Sunday paper from the exit.
Media Spin
Broadcast mastery, from Radio 4 to the phone-in.
Ministerial Mileage
Years on the Whitehall clock.
Ideological Purity
Faction zealot at 100, naked pragmatist at 0.
Voter Toxicity
LOWEST WINS. High means they boycott your phone-in.